Program Class Schedule
The  3 stages of manalive
manalive is a transformative, peer-led program designed to help men end their violence, reclaim their authentic selves, and build safe, intimate relationships. The journey through manalive is structured in three progressive stages, each with clear goals and methods. Below is an overview of these stages and what participants can expect at each step.
| Stage | Focus | Key Skills & Outcomes |
|---|---|---|
| Stage 1 | Stop My Violence | Recognize triggers, stop violence, take accountability |
| Stage 2 | Reclaim My Self | Fade Hitman image, develop self-awareness, express emotions |
| Stage 3 | Fulfillment and Community | Make fulfillment plans, support others, sustain nonviolence |
Stage 1: Stop My Violence
Objective: The first and most urgent goal is to stop all forms of violence—emotional, verbal, physical, and sexual—toward oneself and others.
Process:
- Participants learn to recognize the Moment of Fatal Peril—the split-second when they feel their right to rule is threatened, which often triggers violent behavior.
- The program teaches men to identify and break down their violent incidents using the Separation Cycle, helping them see exactly how violence starts, escalates, and can be stopped.
- Men are guided to take full accountability for their actions, moving away from blaming others or circumstances.
- Through structured check-ins, feedback, and agreements, participants practice new, nonviolent ways of relating and commit to stopping their violence.
Outcome: By the end of Stage 1, participants have learned practical tools to interrupt violent patterns and have made a clear, active commitment to nonviolence.
Stage 2: Reclaim My Self
Objective: With violence stopped, the focus shifts to self-awareness and reclaiming the authentic self that was lost or hidden behind learned violent roles.
Process:
- Men explore the difference between their Hitman (the internalized, controlling male-role image) and their Authentic Self.
- The program guides participants to cross the “8 Change Agreements Bridge,” a set of commitments that help them fade the Hitman image and reconnect with their true selves.
- Emphasis is placed on recognizing, naming, and expressing emotions—skills that are essential for intimacy but often suppressed by traditional male socialization.
- Participants practice treating themselves as equals, learning to nurture healthy boundaries and make agreements based on mutual respect.
Outcome: Stage 2 men will are able to identify their feelings, needs, and values, and begin to build authentic, non-coercive relationships with themselves and others.
Stage 3: Fulfillment and Community
Objective: The final stage is about living a fulfilling life and contributing to a safe, nonviolent community.
Process:
- Men learn to make Fulfillment Plans—intentional strategies for meeting their emotional and relational needs without resorting to control or violence.
- The focus expands from personal change to community involvement, as participants support other men in their journeys and help spread nonviolent values.
- The program encourages ongoing practice of intimacy skills, peer support, and community organizing to maintain change and prevent relapse.
Outcome: Stage 3 men are equipped to sustain nonviolence, nurture healthy relationships, and take active roles in creating safer families and communities.